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Experiences after infidelity via internet communication: Surveillance, ambivalence, and termination

K. Hertlein, Jenna Chang, Ashley VanYperen, K. Fatkin, S. Nakamura

Sexual and Relationship Therapy · April 5, 2021

Abstract Infidelity is a challenging but prominent issue in couple therapy. In addition to the negative outcomes, clinicians generally report that infidelity is the second most difficult problem to treat after intimate partner violence. The purpose of this study was to identify the recovery process in the betrayed (non-participating) partner. Specifically, we sought to identify the implications of online infidelity (infidelity that occurs through Internet modalities, such as social media messaging, direct messages, etc.) on the betrayed partner during recovery. Across three focus groups of those in dating relationships, we identified an eight-stage process through the lens of the betrayed partner: intuition, investigation, discovery, confrontation, response, forgiveness/limbo, termination, and new rules. Theoretical and clinical implications are discussed.

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